This is a story about a normal, average teenage girl. no fan fiction, no vampires, ghosts, or supernatural powers. Just a teenage girl writing about her life. Nothing special, nothing extraordinary. Just real.

Head bouncing, lip-syncing, sitting cross-legged. Perfect, just perfect. Nothing can harm me in this state of mind, nothing can phase me. It’s just perfect. This moment is perfect, everything about it and me is perfect.
NOT.
The constant clocking of her tongue against her invisaligns is a reminder of her under-bite and crooked teeth. The awkward habit that she had biting her nails. Her dark brown hair fell aimlessly past her shoulders, and as she flipped her head, she was aware of the headphones slipping out of her ears. She sighed as she placed them back, and changed the song on her iTouch. 
    Now, it didn’t seem like it, but millions of things were going through this girl’s mind at the moment. Some things relating to her family, and some unsolved issues in between them. Some were about her friends, and the struggles they faced together. The rest were some problems that she was sure could be fixed if she tried to fix, which wasn’t going to happen anytime soon, as the problems listed above were the main things on her mind at the moment. She was determined to fix all of this, and make everything better for her, and everyone she loved. Just one problem at a time, she knew the she could do it. 
    Lately, she been so full of everything that it seems a little over whelming to her. She feels as if there’s no one to talk to about anything that she’s going through, as one of her closest friends said that she grew tired of her constant complaints. So, she became rary about what she said, and who she said it to. She put on this smile everyday, that would hope to conceal everything that was running through her mind. There are times were she would feel like she couldn’t take it anymore, those were the times her smile seemed to easily fade in and out, but she always tried her best. 

    Unlike many teenagers out there, she only had one parent, her mom, that was really in her life. Her dad, left her when she was just a toddler, so the memories of him are very blurry and unclear. She always tries to remember him, everyday she tries, but usually she comes up with emptiness. The only clear memory she had with her dad was when they were playing together at his mother’s house, and just watching t.v. At that time, she was oblivious to what he actually was to her. She never thought that that was the last time she would’ve saw him. She didn’t think that he’d move on, and leave to go to Toronto without her knowing, or her mother. She never knew. She wonders everyday, where her dad is, what he is doing, and if he ever thinks of her the way that she thinks about him. She misses him everyday, even if she doesn’t really talk about him a lot, she really does miss him, and thinks about him in everything she does.
    The relationship between her and her mother, is a quite close bond to say the least. That’s what she sees it as. They do a lot of things together. When you first looked at them, you would think that they were possibly sisters, or friends. Most of the time, the girl would see her as a friend, but there are times when she felt like she didn’t know her mom. Frequently, her mother would turn into something that she didn’t really like. Her mother would get frustrated easily. And usually, the girl would say something of unimportance, and would frustrate her mother even more, causing her to say things that she didn’t mean at the moment. She would threaten her at times, about everything, and anything. Usually targeting things that she loved. It would hurt this girl a lot, but she tried not to let it get to her. She would tell her about what she did wrong, constantly, when all the girl wanted was to forget it and move on. It was hard on the girl, because she really didn’t like bringing up the past, and things that she wished she could of fixed. But yet, her mother would constantly pick on her about it, and thus the memories and mistakes could never be forgotten. But despite all of that, she still tired to make up with her mom, and build that bond her her once again.
    The girl felt sometimes restricted as to what she could do, and what she could say. Her mother kept a close watch on her, and likes to see what she was doing most of the time. She would check her instant messaging chat logs, her blog which she wrote her feelings on, and any other communication she had, when the girl was away at school, so sleeping at night.She usually had to erase things that she wrote, or typed. She felt very watched at times, but she knew that it was just her mother being protective of her.

She tapped her finger to the beat of the music basting in her ears. She changed her position, and began to let her eyes wander  around her room. She checked the time and saw that it was well pasted midnight. She shrugged as she sat deeper into her pillows. She thought about studying for her test that was tomorrow morning, but didn’t really think of doing anything school related. She was in her happy place, listening to her music and just relaxing in her room. As she settled down, she started to think about her day, wondering if she did anything to upset anyone, or anger them. 
She liked to please everyone, whether it be someone important or not, someone she liked, or disliked. She would always try to please them in some way or another. Some people called her fake, but she didn’t see it that way. She wanted to make everyone happy with her, and be proud of her, so her frequently changed to be what they wanted her to be. 
She knew very well that this wasn’t good for her. So, recently made a decision to do what pleases her. In the end that’s all the matters anyways, if at the end of the day she like who she was. She didn’t have to live up to everyone’s expectation, but sometimes it was hard to not want to please everyone. 
She liked to fix everyone’s problems. And she liked to make the pain of everyone else go away, sometimes even before her own pain. She constantly pushed her feelings aside for her loved ones. So, that she could help them be happy first. 
She thought to her friends problems, which honestly, shouldn’t affect her at all, since it wasn’t about her or directed towards her. But this girl, she cared a lot about her friends, and their problems. She knew that some of them don’t care about her, or her problems, but she always tried to help them regards or not if she got anything in return. Because no matter what happens, she would be there for all of them, because she cared about them. She wanted to make everyone smile and happy all the time, she hated to see any of her friends struggling or hurting, she just wanted to take it all away from them and make them happier. If only she could do that.
When her best friend is upset or sad, she really doesn’t know what to do. And sometimes it made her feel like she was a horrible friend. Because her best friend was always there for her, yet she couldn’t do anything to make her feel better or anything. She constantly felt like a bad friend, because she knew that there was so much she could do for her, yet she did nothing to help her. She would give a few bits of advice from here to there, but she really felt useless. She tried to make everything better by saying something sweet, or nice, but it didn’t always work. Sometimes, she felt like a failure.

She looked into the mirror, and began mouthing and dancing to the song that was playing on her iPod. She did this quite frequently, the only thing that keeps her from thinking unwanted thoughts. Just as it was the only way to keep her focused and locked onto something at home. The smiled to herself, before she turned to her blanket that lay out in front of her.

She thought about it for a while, asking herself, “Why do you care so much about everyone?” And suddenly she knew the answer. She never really had anyone in the life that stayed for a long time. They would always leave her before she really got to show them what a great friend, or girlfriend she could really be. Everyone just left, with or without a reason to. 
She blamed herself for all of these lost people but really, it wasn’t her fault exactly. She guessed the reason why she cared so much about the people in her life, is because she doesn’t know when they’re going to leave. So she shows all that she can, and care all she can before any of that happens. She’s so used to everyone leaving that it doesn’t hurt that much when they decide to leave, since she saw it coming. No one really stayed with her, and she really didn’t know why.